That word sounds like it should mean someone who is an aficionado of female or feminine things

And yet, my impression of people who appreciate females is that they biggest aficionados are not females themselves

What a shame that women are so critical and aspirational that it’s hard for us to be fans of ourselves

There is always something not right that needs to be fixed

Then again, my fantasy definition of women who are feminists is not the popular definition of the word

The popular understanding of feminist is usually paired with

ANGRY

That’s not fair. Most women most of the time are not angry

Most women have a strong desire to make sure people close to them
Are safe comfortable and happy

When I or my female friends encounter someone who is genuinely angry we usually take the time to talk it out with the angry woman. We are after all skilled at making things better

Even just a little better

If the angry woman is unwilling to drop the anger even when we all huddle around her to try

It’s sad

And we have to kind of leave her to her misery

Like that woman who won’t leave a cruel husband

It has to be her choice, and we can only do so much

There are many many books and schools at universities teaching feminism

Why don’t they leave women like me with more tools to recognize and appreciate all the wonderful things that women are?

Or how to recognize and remediate my weaknesses?

I am disappointed. I certainly could be angry at feminists.

But I’m mostly sad